Still not sure how I got picked or why I am writing this blog this week ( considering there really wasn’t an official ‘Gatorade game’), but no use complaining. here you go…..
Dominance
That’s the only way to describe Wednesday evenings festivities. It’s not often when 1 team runs the entire night, but this was one of them. Maybe it had something to do with the new security guard in the lobby, but who knows. Team Jamie Schweeeeed, Barry Herminator, yours truly, and the visiting fat Howie Metzger ran the show. Chalk it up to good team defense, smart fast -breaking, rebounding and good shot selection (until the last game). We seemed to jump out to a 3-0 or 4-0 start each game.
It also didn’t hurt that Cusso ‘Gallinari’ was completely shut down (mostly be Schwied). He was pretty useless and couldn’t rally his team to a victory. He didn’t show any of the talents we have become accustomed to that he learned from his days in the Italian league. Ofcourse, his hair still looked great.
Sam ‘DJ Shiftee’ also wasn’t as aggressive as he usually is at attacking the hoop. Word from the locker room was, Shiftee was too focused on preparing for ‘Dj’ing the 30th b-day party on Friday of the man with no ankles (Jamie). Regardless, he always plays solid D.
Dorf’s head wasn’t in it Wednesday night. Maybe, it was because Jamie flat out called him a BIG FAT LIAR. Boy, he hates that. J
Ostrow and his GIANT TUSH seemed frustrated, & Smitty never really got too involved in the offense with his patent elbow jumpers. Doug was pretty solid as always, but couldn’t ‘break free’ enough.
Side Notes:
-My turkey & Swiss bagel (from across the street): C-
Only put about 5 slices of turkey on it. Very disappointing. Dave Lewis HATES that place, don’t even ask him about it…. Pure Anger.
-Adam Lambert’s performance on American Idol: A
This guy has ‘star’ potential written all over him. He’s got unique voice and if you didn’t hear his rendition of “ The Tracks of My Tears", you missed a good one.
-For those who know Big Dan Ballenger, could him and Michael Sarver (from American Idol) look anymore alike?
Yeah, I watch Americal Idol….and love it.
F- the team who finally beat us that caused me to write this
Josh ' the garage took 20 minutes to find my car' Mandell
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
It's Gotta be the Shoeeeessssss
As I sit here eating my Sun Chips I'm trying to think what was tonights run all about??? By the way for those of you that questioned it, the bagel with Lox & Cream Cheese was excellent!!!!
First off, Dougy "Deron" Crane was all over the place, as Dave Lewis put it he was picking up the trash. Lose balls, boards, tap outs, it just seemed like the ball was drawn to him tonight...Begs the question is it the shoes???
Dougy has always been famous for his outfits, 8 year old running sneakers Maroon shorts, different maroon colored T-Shirt, Black Socks. Basically Dougy would open his drawer and whatever came out first regardless of Color was what he was going with. Now matching shorts / Shoe combo...Can he be stopped???
Only downside for Dougy was requesting to sit in game 3 after a win because he was tired, this is unheard of!!! The jury is out whether any type of action will be taken against young Crane...Maybe he will be forced to do suicides at the beginning of next weeks run.
On the flip side of the coin, there was Rusty, ohhhh Rusty, this just wasn't your night...He started off Game 1 pinning Schweid to the backboard and recovering the ball, but after that it was all down hill. The shots weren't falling, he was getting frustrated, all in all just not his night. but MAN Schweid he freaking pinned you, PINNED!!!
Cuso was on his game as well, playing to win and he sure did. I believe 5 games in a row...When he wants it man he can bring it.
Smitty rebounded well from the prior week as he came in Angry, questioning Schweids Blog saying the I lit him up...Smitty came out with something to prove and he did erasing memories of his triple double of futility from the prior week.
Is it just me or did Mandell look like he was 14??? New hairdo, clean shaven like a young man in the 11th grade as a Syosset Brave....Josh did you get home yet :)
Zornow was hitting the short jumper, Schweid was well shooting, Jay Braun was solid not good not bad, just getting the job done. Das man Lewis was he normal crafty self and he did play super solid D on Rustyyyyyy.
I personally want to apologize to everyone for not bringing it tonight...St Pattys Day beat me this year...Maybe I'm getting old. I stunk and didn't give the effort on the D-Fensive end...I am sorry!!! What a difference a week makes, Schweid you were right!!!
First off, Dougy "Deron" Crane was all over the place, as Dave Lewis put it he was picking up the trash. Lose balls, boards, tap outs, it just seemed like the ball was drawn to him tonight...Begs the question is it the shoes???
Dougy has always been famous for his outfits, 8 year old running sneakers Maroon shorts, different maroon colored T-Shirt, Black Socks. Basically Dougy would open his drawer and whatever came out first regardless of Color was what he was going with. Now matching shorts / Shoe combo...Can he be stopped???
Only downside for Dougy was requesting to sit in game 3 after a win because he was tired, this is unheard of!!! The jury is out whether any type of action will be taken against young Crane...Maybe he will be forced to do suicides at the beginning of next weeks run.
On the flip side of the coin, there was Rusty, ohhhh Rusty, this just wasn't your night...He started off Game 1 pinning Schweid to the backboard and recovering the ball, but after that it was all down hill. The shots weren't falling, he was getting frustrated, all in all just not his night. but MAN Schweid he freaking pinned you, PINNED!!!
Cuso was on his game as well, playing to win and he sure did. I believe 5 games in a row...When he wants it man he can bring it.
Smitty rebounded well from the prior week as he came in Angry, questioning Schweids Blog saying the I lit him up...Smitty came out with something to prove and he did erasing memories of his triple double of futility from the prior week.
Is it just me or did Mandell look like he was 14??? New hairdo, clean shaven like a young man in the 11th grade as a Syosset Brave....Josh did you get home yet :)
Zornow was hitting the short jumper, Schweid was well shooting, Jay Braun was solid not good not bad, just getting the job done. Das man Lewis was he normal crafty self and he did play super solid D on Rustyyyyyy.
I personally want to apologize to everyone for not bringing it tonight...St Pattys Day beat me this year...Maybe I'm getting old. I stunk and didn't give the effort on the D-Fensive end...I am sorry!!! What a difference a week makes, Schweid you were right!!!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Better late then Never
Like a fine wine, I wanted this blog entry to age so that I can personally comprehend what happened that faithful Wednesday night March 11th 2009. It was a unseasonably warm day but not for Jon”Lights out” Dorfman. This is a day he will remember forever or at least till the end of this blog.
In 1991, Jon was an amazing basketball player well beyond his years. His patented stutter step wowed the Wahnee faithful and melted the girls hearts. But something happened when jon grew up. People started getting bigger and better than him. That all changed Wednesday.
When Lebron nearly had a triple double last month I thought that was the best basketball performance of the year. Clearly I was wrong. Chris “Smitty” Smith had the difficult task of defensing Dorfman but to no avail. Dorf, hitting jumpers like Drazen Petrovic in NBA Jam couldn’t miss. To steal the words of that heralded video game, he was on fire. Then Smitty, known for his tenacious d and these days a spotty jumper, got up in dorfs face to force him to drive. What did dorfman do you ask? He went right around Smitty showing moves that have not come out since the Reagan presidency. His teammates including the fearless Jared Mancuso were in awe of what they were witnessing.
But just like jimmy Connors run at the 91 us open, dorfs body started to give. His heart didn’t. Utilizing his new teammate Kristian Kordula who was brought down by this hamdsomely good looking but sometimes irresponsible blogger, their team triumphed during the Gatorade game forcing me to write this wonderful blog.
I know what your thinking. why is this whole blog about dorfman. There are two reasons for this.
First and most important, since it took me a week to right this i cant remember a whole lot from that night so for all you young journalists out there taking notes is a good idea if you dont have a photographic memory.
The second and least important is Dorf probably played the best basketball of his life and besides marriage and kids might not have much to look forward to in the next ten years.
Game Notes:
Neil shot 100 percent from the field shattering the record held by Brett Goffin since 1987 when he torched a 5 foot 2 neuron shooting 10 of 14.
Jamie Schweid shot a season high 38 percent on 45 attempts. He however lowered his SWHTTB (Shooting when he touches the ball) percentage to a staggeringly low 89 percent.
See you all Wednesday. God Speed and Please make sure you neuter your pets.
I am out.
In 1991, Jon was an amazing basketball player well beyond his years. His patented stutter step wowed the Wahnee faithful and melted the girls hearts. But something happened when jon grew up. People started getting bigger and better than him. That all changed Wednesday.
When Lebron nearly had a triple double last month I thought that was the best basketball performance of the year. Clearly I was wrong. Chris “Smitty” Smith had the difficult task of defensing Dorfman but to no avail. Dorf, hitting jumpers like Drazen Petrovic in NBA Jam couldn’t miss. To steal the words of that heralded video game, he was on fire. Then Smitty, known for his tenacious d and these days a spotty jumper, got up in dorfs face to force him to drive. What did dorfman do you ask? He went right around Smitty showing moves that have not come out since the Reagan presidency. His teammates including the fearless Jared Mancuso were in awe of what they were witnessing.
But just like jimmy Connors run at the 91 us open, dorfs body started to give. His heart didn’t. Utilizing his new teammate Kristian Kordula who was brought down by this hamdsomely good looking but sometimes irresponsible blogger, their team triumphed during the Gatorade game forcing me to write this wonderful blog.
I know what your thinking. why is this whole blog about dorfman. There are two reasons for this.
First and most important, since it took me a week to right this i cant remember a whole lot from that night so for all you young journalists out there taking notes is a good idea if you dont have a photographic memory.
The second and least important is Dorf probably played the best basketball of his life and besides marriage and kids might not have much to look forward to in the next ten years.
Game Notes:
Neil shot 100 percent from the field shattering the record held by Brett Goffin since 1987 when he torched a 5 foot 2 neuron shooting 10 of 14.
Jamie Schweid shot a season high 38 percent on 45 attempts. He however lowered his SWHTTB (Shooting when he touches the ball) percentage to a staggeringly low 89 percent.
See you all Wednesday. God Speed and Please make sure you neuter your pets.
I am out.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
A NIGHT TO REMEMBER
In what seemed to be a night like all other nights, it turned out to be anything but! Many peeps were on time and ready to ball out like Ron Artest in the Palace of Auburn Hills, but if you thought you were ready, you knew you needed to bring your game to Kermitt Washington levels on the night he rearranged Rudy J’s face when a young strapping lad entered the building. The time was 6:02pm and a huge cloud of smoke appeared and out of the fog and mist came no other than ….
ANDREW RUSTY TROMBONE RUSAKOFF…. I got several words for that fucking guy.
1. The faded Lebron jersey was a nice touch to go with the jumper. The kid has definitely got the most unblockable jumper of all time. The release point is as High as Kenny Sky Walker and Kryto-Nate Robinson!
2. The man rebounded like Oakley and ran the floor like worthy.
3. Also, Did you notice how the old Rusty trombone tried to rip dudes arms off anytime there was a tie up.
4. In Summary, Don’t ever show up at the run again or it’s going to be like the old Detroit Bad Boys. No Layup without drawing blood.
Now lets switch over to that Mancuso. What an egg that guy laid. I mean besides him lying about that ball going off his leg, he really seemed to be annoyed by the antics of the most annoying man on the floor. No names need be mentioned but he was donning the finest attire of knick colors that kind of stung the eyeballs.
The Attack the Rack Award goes to Zornow. Probably one of the best guys to have on your team because of his defense and ability to get the hole. He single handedily won a few games last night including the first game of the night where he dropped a quintuple singe. 8pts, 4 boards, 2 assists, 2 steals and a blocks. God Bless you young man.
The Baller Awards goes to Goffin. Just kidding. First off, you always disappoint the ladies when you don’t wear one of your sleeveless tees and show off the gun show. God dam Goff, Dougie Schoolboy Crane and Dave “Big Z” Lewis I felt got the best you. I have an eye patch at home from last Halloween if you need it. It seems as though you might have gotten your eye shot out last night.
Tell me Big Z lewis’s game doesn’t remind you a little bit of Zydrunas Ilgauskas.
Some of last night highlights included SPORTY LOU FORTE having a big time night as he filled it up on several occasions. Including a move across the lane against Zornow that really got the crowd into a frenzy.
There were several surprises too. Of course Mandell and Dorfman afraid to face me was no surprise. Unfortunately Mancuso had to find out what John Starks Defense is all about. And it was also no surprise to see Christopher “hair piece” Smith hitting some smooth j’s instead of smoking them for a change. Just kidding, I don’t even know if you do that sort of thing. I personal frown upon it. Until after the game
The surprise was a team that got shutout last night and unfortunately I was a part of that squad. Although it was embarrassing to lose 8-0, the loss was later avenged like the father said in RED DAWN… “BOYZZZZZZZZ, AVENGE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!” GOFF, MANCUSO, RUSTY, SMITTY served up the shutout but later just didn’t have the stamina to keep it going.
I look forward to next week. The Gatorade Run is THE BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Peace,
Barry "Starks" Herman
ANDREW RUSTY TROMBONE RUSAKOFF…. I got several words for that fucking guy.
1. The faded Lebron jersey was a nice touch to go with the jumper. The kid has definitely got the most unblockable jumper of all time. The release point is as High as Kenny Sky Walker and Kryto-Nate Robinson!
2. The man rebounded like Oakley and ran the floor like worthy.
3. Also, Did you notice how the old Rusty trombone tried to rip dudes arms off anytime there was a tie up.
4. In Summary, Don’t ever show up at the run again or it’s going to be like the old Detroit Bad Boys. No Layup without drawing blood.
Now lets switch over to that Mancuso. What an egg that guy laid. I mean besides him lying about that ball going off his leg, he really seemed to be annoyed by the antics of the most annoying man on the floor. No names need be mentioned but he was donning the finest attire of knick colors that kind of stung the eyeballs.
The Attack the Rack Award goes to Zornow. Probably one of the best guys to have on your team because of his defense and ability to get the hole. He single handedily won a few games last night including the first game of the night where he dropped a quintuple singe. 8pts, 4 boards, 2 assists, 2 steals and a blocks. God Bless you young man.
The Baller Awards goes to Goffin. Just kidding. First off, you always disappoint the ladies when you don’t wear one of your sleeveless tees and show off the gun show. God dam Goff, Dougie Schoolboy Crane and Dave “Big Z” Lewis I felt got the best you. I have an eye patch at home from last Halloween if you need it. It seems as though you might have gotten your eye shot out last night.
Tell me Big Z lewis’s game doesn’t remind you a little bit of Zydrunas Ilgauskas.
Some of last night highlights included SPORTY LOU FORTE having a big time night as he filled it up on several occasions. Including a move across the lane against Zornow that really got the crowd into a frenzy.
There were several surprises too. Of course Mandell and Dorfman afraid to face me was no surprise. Unfortunately Mancuso had to find out what John Starks Defense is all about. And it was also no surprise to see Christopher “hair piece” Smith hitting some smooth j’s instead of smoking them for a change. Just kidding, I don’t even know if you do that sort of thing. I personal frown upon it. Until after the game
The surprise was a team that got shutout last night and unfortunately I was a part of that squad. Although it was embarrassing to lose 8-0, the loss was later avenged like the father said in RED DAWN… “BOYZZZZZZZZ, AVENGE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!” GOFF, MANCUSO, RUSTY, SMITTY served up the shutout but later just didn’t have the stamina to keep it going.
I look forward to next week. The Gatorade Run is THE BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Peace,
Barry "Starks" Herman
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